aching dae

My head aches. So does my heart.

I've been so busy lately. And my boss keeps pushing me to do loads of stuff. Its not that i dont want to. But i really cannot meet their expectations. My two bosses. (i have two bosses, in my opinion, one that i report to, and the other. Boss lor) As much as i tell myself i can. I cant. I jus received an email from my boss, not the one i'm reporting directly to. Well. I wouldnt say he is ticking me off. I would say he is letting me understand why he pushed me so hard, and basically. I fell short of his expectations.

Sigh. I wouldnt even talk about my pay, which is meager. I wont talk about the hours i work. But i would tell you, i am not an executive. I am just a little junior officer. I have my other admin duties too. Its not that i cant prioritize my work. its that everything is important. I wouldnt say i am indispensable. I wouldnt say i have too much to do. I would say. Dont think so highly of me. Please.

For all the time i've spent on work, i have no time for anything else. I signed up for a dance class, only to find i have no time for it. I fricking paid can! Sigh.

Sometimes, i think maybe i like my life this way. No time for emotional tangles. No more thinking about certain people, and how it could have been. Or whatsoever. Really. I got myself into situations i did not know why i have gotten myself into. Helo. What am i doing.

I dont know. I dont listen to some songs anymore. David Tao's songs make me blue. Love songs make me wish i had some. Sad love songs make me identify with them. Eeeek.

Go away thoughts. I cant think anymore. I refuse to, the more i do, the worse it gets.